A Thanksgiving Tragedy

Thanksgiving is a holiday that often goes overlooked. Sandwiched between the costumed fun of Halloween and the bonanza that is Christmas, people just don’t seem to get hyped about Thanksgiving. Heck, we barely even decorate for it. However, Thanksgiving deserves some praise. After all, it’s a holiday that is devoted entirely to eating until you fall asleep, then waking up and drinking beer and watching football. What’s better than that?? Nothing.

However, there has always been one age old problem with Thanksgiving. As you’re gathered with all of your closest family and friends, surrounded by some of the best food of the year, what could possibly stop you from eating until you can’t possibly eat another bite? One thing: pants. The feeling of a tightening denim cage and a pants button that feels like it’s piercing your intestines is a quick way to ruin your thankful feelings. Until now. Stovetop, best known for their famous stuffing, has come to the rescue of Thanksgiving over-indulgers everywhere.

The Thanksgiving Pants are what over indulgent holiday dreams are made of. They’re part sweat pants, part pregnancy pants, and 100% the thing you need this holiday season. And the best part? They are actually for sale!!!! The burgundy stretch pants feature a nice belly band (printed with a delightful stuffing pattern) to accommodate for your multiple Thanksgiving helpings. Finally, some light in the darkness of 2017.

But here’s the tragic part of our tale. THEY’RE ALL SOLD OUT. *Insert every sad, crying emoji here* Maybe we should start a campaign to have them restocked? Because I don’t know about you, but now I simply can’t imagine my holiday season (or regular dinner time) without them. #BringBackTheHolidayPants2017? We do have 280 characters on Twitter, after all…

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