Things I’d Rather Do Than Finish This 40-Page Paper

Hi. I’m casually sprinting through grad school.

My current hurdle is a 40-page paper so naturally I’ve created a list of things I’d rather be doing:

1. Shop for literally anything online. Perhaps a brand new identification for when I spitefully throw in the towel.  Or boots.
2. Complete the entire My 600-lb Life series. Twice.
3. Teach my dog Karl to fetch mimosas.
4. Count every single strand of hair on my head.
5. Try every combination of phone numbers until I finally reach Cher.

This list is comprehensive and subject to change. Please send me your strength and support, and coffee.
Also, pizza.